"I Just Thought He Was the Dad"
- Falsely Accused Network
- Aug 8, 2025
- 4 min read
Written by Michael Thompson, Founder of Paternity Fraud UK
Why This Excuse for Paternity Fraud Doesn’t Add Up
One of the most common lines we hear when a woman is found to have committed paternity fraud is:
> “I genuinely believed he was the father. I made a mistake.”
On the surface, it may sound innocent. But when you scratch beneath it, this excuse quickly begins to look implausible — and in many cases, downright dishonest.
Let’s be clear: paternity fraud isn’t about someone getting dates mixed up or misunderstanding biology. It’s about knowingly or recklessly misleading someone into believing they’re the biological father of a child — and allowing them to take on emotional, financial, and parental responsibilities under false pretences.
So, how often is this “mistaken belief” really believable?
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1. Women Know Who They’ve Slept With
This is the most obvious point, but one that needs to be said plainly.
It’s simply not credible that a woman wouldn’t remember sleeping with another man in the same time frame as her partner. Conception windows are narrow — typically about six days in a month — and if a woman is sexually active with multiple men during that time, then she knows there's a possibility the child might not be her partner’s.
Claiming complete ignorance ignores basic biology and common sense. It’s not about needing a biology degree — it’s about being aware of one’s own behaviour.
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2. The Truth About the Fertile Window
Biologically speaking, a woman can only become pregnant during a very short window each month — usually just 6 days. This includes the five days before ovulation (when sperm can survive) and the day of ovulation itself, when the egg is released.
If a woman is sexually active with more than one man during this brief window, she’s very likely to know there's a chance someone else could be the father. And let’s not forget — most men don’t track their partner’s ovulation. In fact, the man being deceived is often completely in the dark about her cycle, making him even more vulnerable to being misled. He trusts what he’s told.
So when we hear “I just thought my partner was the dad,” it raises serious questions — because understanding your own cycle, especially when lives and parenthood are involved, isn’t too much to ask. It's basic biology — and ignorance doesn't excuse deception.
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3. DNA Testing Has Been Available for Decades
We now live in an age where a simple cheek swab can confirm or deny paternity with 99.99% accuracy.
If a woman has even the slightest doubt about who the father might be, the responsible thing to do is tell both men the truth and allow DNA testing — before names go on birth certificates, child arrangements are made, or money starts changing hands.
But time and time again, we see the opposite: silence, concealment, or worse — resistance to testing. Why? Because in many cases, the truth is known — and inconvenient.
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4. Timing and Motive Matter
In many fraud cases, women make the “genuine mistake” claim only after they’ve been caught — often after years of deception.
Let’s look at a common scenario:
> A woman is in a relationship but has a brief sexual encounter with someone else. She falls pregnant and, rather than admit the possibility that the child isn’t her partner’s, she says nothing. Over time, that silence becomes a lie. He’s put on the birth certificate. He’s listed as “Dad” at school. He pays maintenance. Years later, for whatever reason, he takes a DNA test — and the truth comes out.
At that point, claiming “I didn’t know” or “I just assumed” doesn’t wash. The reality is, she chose not to know. She chose not to ask the question. And in many cases, she chose to protect her own image, lifestyle, or finances over the truth.
That’s not a mistake. That’s a cover-up.
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5. “Genuine Belief” Doesn’t Explain Deliberate Actions
Even if we entertain the idea that a woman genuinely believed her partner was the father at the time of conception, that still doesn’t explain:
Why she gave false information to authorities or on official documents
Why she refused or discouraged paternity testing
Why she accepted years of financial support from a man who wasn’t the biological father
Why she concealed the truth once doubts were raised
These are not passive mistakes. They’re conscious decisions, made repeatedly over time.
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6. False Belief Is Not a Justification — It’s a Deflection
Let’s flip the script.
Imagine a man defrauds the benefits system by claiming a child is his when it’s not, and when caught, says:
> “Well I just assumed I was entitled. I genuinely believed it.”
No court would accept that. Why? Because belief without evidence, when you had the means to check, is negligence at best — and fraud at worst.
Paternity fraud should be treated no differently.
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Conclusion: Mistakes Happen. Fraud Is a Pattern.
We’re not saying women never make honest mistakes. But let’s stop pretending that every case of paternity fraud is just a “misunderstanding.”
If a woman knowingly allows a man to believe he’s the father — emotionally, legally, and financially — without disclosing the full truth or allowing testing, that’s not a mistake. That’s deception. That’s fraud.
And brushing it off with “I genuinely believed…” only adds insult to injury for the men and children whose lives have been turned upside down.
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If you’ve been affected by paternity fraud, contact Paternity Fraud UK for support and guidance.
📞 0204 538 8788
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