Romance Fraud and Paternity Fraud: Two Sides of the Same Coin, But Treated Worlds Apart

By Michael Thompson, Founder of Paternity Fraud UK

Romance fraud has become a high-profile issue in the UK. Open any newspaper or scroll through social media, and you’ll see warnings from banks, police forces, and charities about the dangers of online scammers. Victims are told: “You are not to blame. You are not alone. Contact us, and we will help.” Rightly so—because romance fraud is a cruel and manipulative crime that devastates lives emotionally and financially.

But I want to ask an uncomfortable question: why does society treat paternity fraud so differently?

Paternity fraud occurs when a man is deceived into believing he is the biological father of a child, when in fact he is not. Like romance fraud, it is built on lies, emotional manipulation, and misplaced trust. Like romance fraud, it often results in deep financial harm—men paying years, sometimes decades, of child maintenance under false pretences. And like romance fraud, the psychological scars last a lifetime.

The parallels are striking:

In both, the victim believes they are in a loving, genuine relationship.

In both, deception is used to extract financial and emotional investment.

In both, victims are left isolated, ashamed, and heartbroken.

In both, the crime is not just about money—it’s about betrayal of the most intimate trust.

Yet here is the stark contrast: while romance fraud is splashed across TV adverts, Action Fraud campaigns, and bank awareness posters, paternity fraud is brushed under the carpet. There are no public campaigns. No sympathetic “you are not alone” messaging. No systemic recognition that this is a devastating form of fraud.

Instead, victims of paternity fraud are often told to “get over it” or treated as if they should simply accept the situation for the sake of the child. The deception is minimised, and the victim is left carrying the emotional and financial consequences in silence.

This disparity cannot be ignored. Both romance fraud and paternity fraud are built on lies and manipulation. Both cause severe financial and emotional harm. But only one is recognised, supported, and compensated. The other—paternity fraud—is dismissed.

I believe this is a clear example of gender bias in our society. When the majority of victims are women, as in romance fraud, the response is compassion, campaigns, and compensation schemes. When the majority of victims are men, as in paternity fraud, the response is silence.

At Paternity Fraud UK, we are working to change this. We believe that victims of paternity fraud deserve the same recognition, the same sympathy, and the same access to justice as victims of romance fraud. Fraud is fraud. Betrayal is betrayal. The gender of the victim should not determine the seriousness with which society responds.

It is time for policymakers, campaigners, and the media to stop turning a blind eye. If romance fraud deserves nationwide action, then so does paternity fraud.

Michael Thompson

Founder, Paternity Fraud UK

If you've been affected by Paternity Fraud then visit our website

www.paternityfrauduk.org

Or email

paternityfrauduk@gmail.com to receive free and confidential support.

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